Inner Rose

As another lesson of growth that my mother taught me. We needed a new car. My mother (I guess) was training me that it is ok, sometimes, to pray very specific prayers. Mom had $3000 available. She wanted it to be green. She wanted it to have an air conditioner. There were other details that I don't recall right now. Mom and I prayed for the Lord to help us find a car that was no more than $3000... We found, through a friend, a car that, with tax and title came to exactly $3000. Every time Mom drove this car, she prayed for the Lord to protect it. For years she drove that car. One night after work, she pulled it into a gas station and asked if they would check the oil. I was with her. The man blanched and came back to the driver's window. "Lady, I don't know why you can still drive this car. The engine should have fallen out a long while ago." He welded a brace at the top of the engine to hold it in. Even more years passed by. Mom had back surgery a...

It was a cloudless, moonless night along Lake Huron. The wind brushed softly through the pines and waves lapped gently on the shore. Dark velvet sky with stars spread like torches across the heavens. Brilliant they were. So bright, that the waves were lit up by their glow. I was in love. So in love with Bob and so passionately in love with God that the two merged to make a cosmic unity in my heart with the earth, sky, waves, and the spangled universe. ahhh! sigh... We snuggled into the sand, backs against a partially uprooted tree. How perfect! Waves rolled rhythmically like stolid sentinels along an azure sea. So in love! As we had walked up I thought, "God, I am so in love with you and so in love with Bob and the stars are so bright-I have never seen so many stars before. This would be a perfect time to see you, or an angel." Nestled up against the tree, we had just begun to snuggle when an awful awareness came upon us. Mushrooming on and under the surface of t...

Grandma had a set of blue and white doll dishes. When she was 4 or 5 (perhaps around 1883), she had the following dream. There was a grape arbor in her back yard. She had a tea party underneath. Jesus came and sat down in one of her little chairs next to her dollies and had tea with them. Then he put his hand on her head and blessed her and was gone. "do not hinder them for to such belongs the kingdom of God" Luke 18:16

Upon returning to my home after an evening out, I noticed a change in my room. The spiritual tenor was different. "What is it, mom. What happened in my room. You were in there, weren't you." Mom replied, "I was lying on your bed and listening to a record. While I was listening to the words, a bright light came into the room and I saw Jesus come toward me. His arms reached palms up toward me in appeal. The words, 'Fill my house unto the fullest. Eat my bread and drink my wine. The love I bear is held from no one. All I have and all I do I give to you.' I felt overcome as I realized Jesus was saying this very personally to me and that he loves us with an intimacy that few could imagine. I wept as I realized the magnitude of his love." In these ways (Susan is now speaking) mom taught me of God's love.

A book published by a Quaker publishing house tells in simple prose how God laid his heart down for us. When I was a teen, a man told me my dog was smarter than I because he (Charlie) had valiantly and repeatedly pulled on my pantleg to try to make me leave when harm was planned for me. Laying heart down. How many ways can we realize that? - Is it when a man chooses forthrightly to listen to a woman though anger has turned her tongue irrational? Those of us who love because He (Jesus) first loved us may have one idea. - What are ways that you have learned to lay your heart down? - Has that made a difference in any of your relationships or in how you choose to live your life? I have fought a double-edged sword because I first chose in ways that actually were not God's will and in ways that pulled me down. I have learned (and am learning) to make other choices. What choices have you made? And, was the impact good or bad for you? And why?

Dottie gave me a card after my mother's death. On it was a chair in a field of flowers draped with a shawl and hat and the text, "She...was quite a lady!" Two days before her death, I had given my mother a CD "The Psalms of David" by the Choir of King's College, Cambridge, EMI Classics (organ and choral music). We played it as we waited for the funeral home to remove her body. A fitting tribute. With all her being, she loved God. She loves God. She lived it. She walked it. And, objectively speaking, she still does. "Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek the face of the God of Jacob." Psalm 24:15 RSV

Dottie is dying. She is going fast. This blog is to speak of what she taught me. Laugh. Love. Work hard. Be honest. Respect your own integrity. Pray. Value the individual. Listen. Listen. Listen. Don't judge. Love. What a jewel and a priceless person she is! I wish you could all know her. She has taught me so much! The world has definitely become a better place because of her. She said she wanted a memorial that says "She lived until she died!" Ahh, the world has definitely become a far far better place because of her.